remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
