We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Are we still banned from the library?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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