I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
