white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
