I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
PANTIES FOUND
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