Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
