sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
