Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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