What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
bring money and cleavage
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
