I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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