I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
