I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
