oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How external is "for external use only"?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
