Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
