she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
