If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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