I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
