I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
