First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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