she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
