She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
