We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
