we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
