My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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