uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Randomize
