Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
