woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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