come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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