Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
