what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
