She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
