Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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