Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
