don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
