how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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