Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
