the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
