She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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