Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
