y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
