she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
