we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
