i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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