he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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