how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
