she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
