we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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