We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
