idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
