Sponge bath it is.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Someone signed my nipple.
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