I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
